


Circular

by Jeanne



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-19
Updated: 2009-12-19
Packaged: 2017-10-04 15:53:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeanne/pseuds/Jeanne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The trouble with time travel, see, is that there are no beginnings, no endings. Everything's circular--one person's past is another's future.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Circular

Ten

He knows it's coming, has since his regeneration. Then, he'd thought, _this is why she leaves me, this is why she could never tell me why she left._ He wonders when it'll come and views each day with trepidation. She lasts longer than he'd thought, though, a full year of travelling together before she turns to him one day in the console room and tells him that she wants out and to drop her off on the next available planet, please. He puts up a protest, but it's half-hearted at best. He knows she wants him to argue with her, and he certainly doesn't want her to leave, not after everything, but he knows she has to for his past to play out right. Knows that she spends decades travelling with his eighth incarnation, and dies as his ninth watches over her while her younger self waits out in the hall, wondering who this old woman is. This is the way it has to be, 'cause even for a Time Lord--especially for a Time Lord--the past is already written and he can't do a damn thing to change it no matter how much he wants to.

Everything's ahead of her, but it's all over for him now, 'cause she wants to leave him and he has to let her. She'll leave him behind and find her future in his past and all he'll have left are memories. It's the way it is. And he'll be left missing her company and her brightness and her laughter while she'll be off having adventures with his past self, going through hell in the War, and eventually growing old and dying. But that's already happened, from his viewpoint, even though she's yet to experience it, and sometimes, he really hates time travel.

Eight

He has no idea who she is or why she's screaming at him about not telling her who he was from the beginning. So he looks at her with a bewildered expression on his face and asks _have we met before?_ and that shuts her up. She looks stricken and her mouth drops open and she goes _oh_ as if she's just learned all of the secrets of the universe. And she suddenly looks younger than he'd thought she was, probably very close to Lee's age, give or take a few years, and he can't help but feel sorry for her, she's so absolutely dejected.

He's not quite sure what to do with her, so he steps into the TARDIS and motions for her to follow. She does so hesitantly and looks around, an odd look in her eyes that makes him think she's comparing the console room to something else. And he opens his mouth to give his usual speech ?bout the TARDIS but she looks at him and shakes her head, says she's heard it before. From him, a future incarnation she'd traveled with for a while. And his mouth drops open, like her's did earlier, and he echoes her _oh_. She laughs at that, and he likes it, her laugh, understands a bit why his future self liked her.

She wants to explain a bit more about the future, but he holds up his hand and stops her, tells her that it'll mess everything up if she does. She protests, but he holds firm, and eventually, she relents. And they spend a bit more time together, and by the end of it--and he knows it?s utterly mad, but he really can't help himself--he asks her if she'd like to travel around the universe with him.

Nine

He doesn't tell her why they're on this planet, just asks her to stay in the hall while he goes off to see someone. And he's at her door, trying to gather the courage to enter her room before saying to hell with it and barging right in. And she smiles, that amused smile of hers that she's always had for him, and he can't help but smile back, a genuine smile, not the fake one he often wears.

His hearts fall, though, when he sees how old she looks, not at all like the vibrant young woman he'd first met during his eighth incarnation. Or like the woman-child he's left wandering around the hospital on her own, who he's known for ages and who's only known him for a few months. He moves over to her bed, takes her hands in his and holds on tightly to this woman who's been his lifeline through two lives. And she disentangles one of her hands and reaches up to stroke his cheek, and she whispers _no regrets, alright?_ . 'Cause that's always been his biggest worry, that she regrets ever meeting him and she knows that, just like she knows him as no other ever has. He nods even as his hearts break and he holds her hand even tighter.

She closes her eyes, and with a quiet sigh and a happy smile she's gone. He sits by her side for a long moment, clenches his teeth and tries to keep the tears at bay. He fails and he weeps and he mourns.

Then he stands up and quietly leaves the room, his head bowed. And suddenly, she's by his side, reaching out to hold his hand. He looks down at her and she up at him and they both smile.


End file.
